Is Self Love necessary to have a healthy relationship?

Self First
4 min readDec 27, 2020


What do you think is necessary to have a healthy relationship?

I guess all the people, in the end, look for a relationship where there is open, honest, and safe communication. Support for each other and having a healthy relationship boundary where there is mutual respect. Any healthy relationship is built on trust and intimacy. But, above all the “self” plays the most important role. Self-love is something that is the most necessary aspect of any kind of relationship. Everything, in the end, leads to Self-love.

What is Self Love?

More or less self-love is the form of giving yourself high regard and priority in terms of your own well-being and happiness. It is about taking care of your own needs and putting your self-respect in check.

Acceptance is the key over here, accepting even the weakness and loving yourself the same way is the pure form of self-love. It is about creating a guard where you protect yourself from the world’s harshness. Making sure that you don’t lure for temporary happiness but also look beyond that.

Self Love is not about the cliche like, “Oh, my God! I love myself and I am my favorite.” It’s more about acceptance. Accepting the flaws and weakness in you and embracing it at utmost grace as you embrace your strengths. It’s about calling out for the toxic traits in you and working towards a change. It’s about the complex self and everything that made you, you.

What Self-love brings out in a relationship?

We tend to act in a certain way to make our significant others love us. We want to become this attractive person to try and impress them. One way or the other, in this we move towards what we are not.

Maybe, in the end, the pressure of becoming someone else to gain love will burst out. Then will the relationship sustain? What if I tell you that to get into a healthy relationship, all you need to do is love yourself? Eventually, loving yourself will help you in dealing with your insecurities with respect to significant others.

It will create a secure relationship where the insecurities won’t be rooted deep down. When people see the way you treat yourself, they will tend to treat you the same way. They see how you have created boundaries and standards for yourself and tend to automatically provide you with that.

By loving yourself, you won’t have tolerance for the people who can’t help you grow or make you feel good.

Self-love is the reflection of yourself and how that could be reflected in your significant other. The perfect example of it is the “empty glass”, you can’t pour from an empty glass. So, unless and until you love yourself you can’t love the other person.

Generally, in a relationship, people are co-dependent on each other a lot which eventually leads to toxicity in the relationship. When you love yourself wholly, the independency factor comes in which leads to a partnership. If you lack in this aspect, certain fears and questions can take a toll on you.

What if the person leaves me or doesn’t love me anymore? What am I supposed to do without them?

With self-love comes self-respect and self-confidence to deal with these uncertainties. A relationship should not be of giving your all to the other person but of respecting and supporting each other that can come only when both the people are fully contempt by themselves and don’t depend on each other for their needs.

What can be done to make it simple?

There are simple ways by which you could practice self-love:

  • Positive Self Talk
  • Make a “To Feel” list instead of the “To Do” list
  • Detox from Technology and Work before Bed
  • Tidy up your room
  • Start your day with something you enjoy

The path to self-love is not easy but it isn’t impossible. Make self-care a part of your routine and see the wonders that it will bring into your life.

Self- love is sitting with your emotions and dark sides within you, accepting your real self and looking back at your demons into the eyes and telling them that “I’m better than this.”

It’s a constant process of forgiving and forget not just yourself but to others too that caused you pain and hurt.



Self First

We are so happy to see you here. We seek you to be more of yourself, because you are Enough. Let’s work together to keep ourselves first🌈