Self-care or Self-Sabotage

How often do you believe that you tend to live in plausibility denial? How often have you done things under the heading of self-care that are actually indicating that you are running away from reality or simply being lazy? Be it going shopping or treating yourself when difficult situations are taking place in your life. Instead of trying to figure it out, you looked for temporary happiness. We’ve all been there.

I have been constantly procrastinating writing this content as” I didn’t feel like writing” or “ I want a day off in the name of self-care”. This “day off” continued for days and here I am submitting this blog beyond the deadline I fixed for myself.

Rest is so important and I always encouraged people to take breaks, but sometimes it’s hard to decide whether you just need a break or whether you need to press on to get things done. People usually have a tendency to run away from things in the name of self-care because they think they deserve it but at what cost?

There is a very thin line between self-care and how your actions under the heading of self-care lead to self-sabotage. The concept of self-care isn’t very clear to people. The self-care activities include going for a spa treatment or giving yourself lavish treatments. It is all good for the people who could actually afford it in terms of time as well as money.

But, isn’t it creating a negative impact on the people who couldn’t afford it. So, what self-care actually is? But first, let’s talk about what Self-Sabotage is?

What is Self-Sabotage?

It’s about you getting in your way for achieving something rather than some external factor doing that for you. Your actions are creating problems and are acting as an obstacle to complete your goal or task.

It is usually because there is a certain limit to everything in terms of success and the love we give to yourselves and when we reach this limit there is a breakdown and one might fall into the loop, difficult to get out of the comfort zone and old habits.

How does Self-Sabotage over shadow Self-care?

Self-care is very important but unless one is clear about what it is really, one might end up labeling everything as self-care even those that are harmful to them. Self-care is building up a healthy relationship with yourself and listen to the requirements of body and mind. Some of the regular self-care activities that one might be engaged to are:

• Meditate and Yoga regularly
• Positive Self-talk
• Setting and sticking to boundaries that you have set-up for yourself
• Maintain personal hygiene
• Talking to a therapist

Anything and everything that is done opposite to what you need will create sabotage. There are some illusions in this case in the form of self-indulgence and self-soothing. Self-indulgence involves inadequate or uncontrolled satisfaction of one’s own wishes.

There is nothing wrong with treating yourself once in a while in order to fulfill your wishes but constantly doing it in the name of self-care can be harmful. Whereas self-soothing can act as an escape from your comfort zone or struggles which you might have to deal later in your life anyway.

Few questions you could ask yourself to figure out what you’re doing is actually self-care or it is a trap of self-sabotage

• Ask yourself how did you feel after doing that particular self-care activity. Question yourself from time to time if it made you self-loathe or energized in order to do something else. With your answers to these, you’ll automatically find your answer to “Self-care or Self-Sabotage”
• Ask yourself how is this going to help my future self. If it is helpful then go for it but if it is causing much harm than good, why do it? Sometimes, even the things that are painful to us at that moment ( avoiding our favorite food in order to remain healthy) leads to self-care eventually.

In the end, self-care is any combination of practices and acts that make you feel healed and gave you the energy to deal with the problems or the work. It shouldn’t be triggering embarrassment or remorse.

It is about treating yourself a bit less but actually taking care of your well-being. It does sound simple, but in fact, the hardest thing you’ll ever do is to learn to care and love yourself in the right direction and figure out who and what you are.